We're in production! With Toogis doing her yoga  

Hello everyone, 

It’s been quite a while so I wanted to write in and let you know that the wonderful goodies from the latest campaign are finally being wrapped one at a time by yours truly and are making their way out across the globe to you my dear dear friends. 

It has taken me a long time to get it all done and I’m not going to go into why and how grieving can derail ones consciousness. I think you are mostly aware of that aspect of life. I am very pleased indeed with how it all turned out and I think you guys are really going to dig your things you ordered! I hope!  

You have been so very wonderfully patient, you truly have and I really do appreciate it. I realize that folks are used to mass produced things, to Amazon and the like, being able to get something in 1 day however I don’t job out because I actually make these things and do care very much about this and you, so do please bear with me a wee bit longer and I assure you everyone will get their goodies. No one has been forgotten it has simply taken longer due to personal circumstances beyond my control. 

October is here and fall is finally upon us after a long sweltering summer. I love this season and am grateful for the coming changes in weather, food and the donning of sweaters, coats and hats. 

In Northern California we actually have seasons unlike Southern California which stays pretty warm all year. I have been writing and working on my book which has been good. My creativity switched off like a lightbulb for a long time but writing is one thing my brain is allowing and I’m grateful for that, it has been a year of huge changes for many of us. Big learning curves, big challenges, great losses, lessons learned and also in turn great blessings.  

I’ve come to appreciate a great many new things as my perspective has been changing.  

I have a new friend in the form of a red eared slider aquatic baby turtle that I rescued and named Toogis aKA Tulip. I’ve never had a turtle before and I find her quite fascinating. I never knew Turtles were so interesting. She wasn’t in good shape when she came to me but now she is confidently able to swim, float, climb and glide. She also does her own form of Yoga or possibly some secret form of turtle tai chi.  

She is funny, curious, and expresses emotion which is something I did not realize turtles did. She has put a smile on my heart.  

Gingey bear King of cats has been recovering slowly but so far so good. It is truly astonishing how he has adapted to life on three legs. In case you have never before read any of my blog entry’s Gingey is my big red Tom cat who got cancer in his front right arm and ended up having to have it amputated in order to save his life. He is a champion among cats and a daily inspiration.  

Thank you my dear friends for your emails, your letters, comments and notes via social media. Thank you for showing me so much love. For all the madness and weirdness in the realms of social media the good parts of it really are something. I thank you sincerely.  

I am very proud and pleased with how the music sounds and I hope you will enjoy it.  

Ok my dears that’s it for now. 

Sending you all much love 

Xxxxxooo 

F

RV Life - Spring Road Trip: Part 2 

That night, the night we drove through Narnia was a very scary drive. The truck was hydroplaning in black ice a few times. That’s one experience that doesn’t need repeating. The truck took it like a champion I must say. Thank you Cruise America! With the amount of publicity I’ve given that company they should sponsor me! Lol! We made it through in one piece though. 

It’s very tiring driving in snow storms and icy conditions because all your muscles must stay taught and you have to lean the truck against the wind. It takes your full concentration and a lot of physical energy to keep a truck safely on the road. There are a lot of folks out there who drive like total idiots as we all know. I wish it was part of getting a drivers license to be forced to learn how to drive around big trucks and big rigs. People in cars dart around cutting trucks off, tailgating and just generally being twits. I saw a bumper sticker on one of the trucks that said “ Tail gaters will be road meat. If You can’t see my mirrors I can’t see you”. Quite a few mini heart attacks were incurred in that weather avoiding those twit drivers. We drove well into the night and we woke up after staying at a truck stop in Tucumcari NM to below freezing temps and a soft snow on the ground. It’s hard to really explain it but there’s something so cozy and wonderful about waking up in a new as yet undiscovered place in an RV. You have everything you need right there with you. Also you have your own bathroom and shower so you don’t have to go through the whole creepy rest area or truck stop lavatories. 

I tried to remember to take a photo of whatever I first saw outside my window when I would wake up. Sometimes it was breathtaking other times it was just the side of another RV ( I skipped those ones) but the point is, it was always new. When you park at night in the darkness you really don’t have a sense of your surroundings so it’s always a cool surprise to look around and see where you are in the AM. I discovered that the food at Denny’s is not digestible by my body however they do make extremely fluffy very tasty blueberry pancakes so those became a staple on this trip. There are truck stops called Flying J or pilot where you can park overnight for free and they almost always have a denny’s that’s why I mentioned them. That morning I noticed a terrific rabble outside. There were Seagulls arguing with these small black birds. I had thrown a bunch of bread scraps I’d saved expressly for this purpose out onto the crispy frozen grass. I wondered what seagulls were doing so far inland. They really are quite huge compared to other birds. We finally got on the road and drove through until We were well into Texas. 

On one of our earlier trips we had stopped at a truck stop and Gingey had woken me up chattering at something. I went to see what he was looking at and there outside were several young feral cats no older than 6 months or so. They were out wandering around and looking up at Gingey on the dashboard of the RV. It seemed like he was trying to tell them we were good folks as he had once been a free range cat as well. I went out to them with a bag of food but I couldn’t get close to any of them. I left them a small mountain of crunchy food under a tree and watched as about 8 cats came out to investigate what this strange new food was. I went online and tried to see if anyone lived nearby who could possibly come to help them. I did find a young man who said he would do his best to try to come and help. 

I’ve read that feral cats must have physical contact and affection by four months old in order to be able to domesticate them and earn their trust. I have rehabbed fully grown feral cats before though so I know that it’s challenging but it can be done. Anyhow, we had a deadline so we had to take off and I had been worrying and wondering what became of the feral cat colony so coming back by there was a must. We finally got there at the end of the day and I waited until it got dark and sure enough there they were The Big Fluffy white cat Who is the Alpha of the group, the smaller regular coat white cat, the striped triplets and the spotted female. They were healthy and strong looking and I watched as they all began to hunt for their night’s dinner. I felt like such an idiot. They’re Cats! They are the greatest hunters around! Of course they had survived! What was I so worried about! It made me very happy to see they were doing well though. I’m one of those people who always seems to have animals show up who need help so of course I help them. Pretty simple. It’s kind of beyond me how anyone could not help an animal who has been brave enough to come ask for help.

Compassion is the single greatest action and greatest example of what it means to be a human being in my book. Some folks find dogs, some find birds, some find deer, skunks, possums, you name it. The people who volunteer to foster and rehabilitate wild critters and rescues are total heroes. Incredibly hard thing to do. Anyway, I digress, in the knowledge that little white and co. were fine, we packed up and got back on the road. It was pretty cold at that time, about 10 degrees below zero. The skies were grey and the time was flying by. I had to get to New Jersey and it was still so far away!Texas gave way to Oklahoma. Oklahoma was sunnier and warmer somehow. There are so many casinos along the i40 that it seems like you are passing one every half hour or so. We did stop once out of curiosity to see what these casinos were like Inside. It was a very strange experience. You go from being out in this vast beautiful desert surrounded by huge sky, hawks and ravens above you and a massive sense of beauty and peace, to a dark noisy large room filled with First Nations pensioners, eyes glued to their screens. It felt like I wanna walking through someone else’s  dream. Suffice to say it is a very surreal experience. They bring a lot of money in for the tribes I’m told so that is a good thing. I have yet to develop my skills as a card shark. As we drove through Oklahoma I saw signs for the Cherokee nation welcome centre. My fathers family on his Maternal side were Cherokee. They were a traveling family, Horse people. Folks used to hire them to come and break wild Mustangs. Tough people to say the least. My great grandmother was very gifted with medicine and healing as well. I wish I could have known them. It has been a very tough time for me this past 6 months since my Mother moved on. I can’t talk or write about it, it’s all still far too painful. I realize how lucky I am to have had a mother who loved me and a family who still does. Many people are not so lucky. I always assumed that a mother’s love is a given, that it’s built into women chemically to love and care for their offspring but that is not actually true. Being on the trip, being distracted helped me in some ways.I didn’t feel like I was ready to do the shows or deal with that many people quite honestly but I had made the commitment before all of that happened. As we drove along and watched the scenery change I often wonder what the lives of the people whose homes, ranches, barns, RV camping lots and such are like. Each state is so different they might as well be different countries. The billboards had become very religious. Many billboards were about Jesus, pro life, guns and ammo, firing ranges, as well as advertisements for the casinos, Indian made pottery and gifts etc. Also the giant white crosses had started to appear.All along the i40 there are these gargantuan white crosses along side the road. I had never seen those before I started going on these road trips. I guess they’re there to inspire people or comfort them maybe? Or adversely to frighten them into remembering to attend if they’ve skipped a few Sundays? I don’t like any religion being pushed in my face by anyone. Period. If one comes to religion it should be by choice not force in my humble opinion.

We stopped in at the giant Chief statue bearing “Big Cabin” Oklahoma. It’s a truck stop in the middle of nowhere with a cool ultra twilight zone like shop. I found a ridiculous cat hat made for children no doubt and put it on and browsed for snacks. Two Hasidic Jewish men cane in and seemed to be having trouble communicating with the gal at the desk as they didn’t speak much English. From the looks on their faces they found the place twilight zone like also. The ladies at the counter were very cool, tough but funny and much to my joy they’re water spigots were on! We hadn’t been able to find water for the RV in several states and were almost dry. Everyone shut their water off so the pipes won’t bust in the winter. We filled the tank and gassed up then got back on the road and drove until we couldn’t go any further. I’m not sure what compelled me to do this but I looked on you tube for scary trucker stories and found several channels that cater to that subject. Stories people have submitted were read by the channels host. They’re completely DIY so the sound was often a little funky and being that the hosts are not professional voice actors the interpretations were at times very funny as they tried to make the stories as spooky as possible. They provided a fun distraction these supposedly “ True tales of terror” as we drove in the inky darkness. 

We got up into Missouri and I was hoping we’d get the chance to stop in st this bizarre little strip mall I’d found on another trip called Uranus so I could buy one of their T-shirt’s “We bury Em’ deep in Uranus “ it still makes me laugh that T shirt In a completely ridiculous adolescent humor way. Alas it was night when we passed through and time was not a friend. We had a very long way to go and very little time to get there. We drove as long as possible until fatigue set in and we’d have to stop to eat and rest a bit. Missouri gave way to Kentucky. I don’t have much to say about Kentucky because we only stopped to refuel so I saw a lot of open golden fields, some horses and long stretches of road between truck stops. It was go time so we just drove and drove. Snow storms kept happening and ice storms ie. frozen rain. That leg of the trip can be summed up in one word. 
TreacherousOnce we hit Pennsylvania we were feeling pretty good. We’d be in New Jersey with time to spare or so I thought. Our route took us onto a turnpike and that ended up being a total disaster. We got stuck behind a wide load big rig carrying some kind of giant equipment so we were stuck, we couldn’t pass it. He was going maybe 30mph. The hours were dragging by like a donkey on medical weed dragging a refrigerator. 

We pulled over at one point to get gas and decided we couldn’t stop to rest because we had hundreds of miles still to go. I met some very polite friendly Amish people in the “travel plaza” while waiting to pay for the gas. There were about 8 of them all traveling in a mini van. I had thought they only used horses and buggies to travel but then again we were on a turnpike. They probably wouldn’t let them use a horse and buggy. That would be too fast for this turnpike. We hopped back behind the wheel and grumbled as the sun went down. A soft flurry of thick snow flakes had begun to fall and long sharp icicles had formed along the walls of the mountain sides by the road. In places there were long thin spiky trees that looked exactly like they’d been dipped in white paint. The road went directly through mountains in places. It looked like a giant pie slicer had just cut a slice through the middle of the mountain. 

We were going as fast as we could go which was not fast at all then a digital sign read “Accident Ahead Tunnel closed Prepare to stop”. I was getting very frustrated indeed however there was nothing for it but to just turn off the engine and wait along with everybody else. I was supposed to be in new bloody jersey already and I here I was still in Pennsylvania! 

The accident eventually cleared after hours of being stuck We put pedal to metal and drove non stop trying in vain to get to the show in time but we arrived exactly one half hour after the show had closed for the evening. We pulled into the hotel parking lot to a hundred or so drunk partying people living it up in the lobby and smoking outside. 

It was so cold I couldn’t believe these folks in bare skin and costumes were running around like it was 75 degrees! Very devoted to their characters I must say! I do love the creativity of these people. Some of the costumes I’m told take a full year to create. When you move to a place with a warm climate I swear you get thin skinned. I used to be a cold weather person having grown up in British Columbia and London UK and Europe I love weather and seasons but nowadays after living in California I get chilly in s snap. We parked the RV around back and being far too exhausted to unpack we turned off the engine and fell straight asleep. The next day I had an early start and a huge mass of people to meet. Folks in New Jersey were very sweet, polite and funny. I got many hugs and a great deal of Love. There were a lot of people who were upset that I was a day late but once they heard what had happened with the drive they were very understanding. Anyone who’s ever been on a long road trip understands that there are always unforeseen happenings. I was just glad to arrive in one piece and with the RV intact! Gbear was so glad to be stopped he just passed out and slept the whole week end.The rest of the weekend was so busy I didn’t stop. It flew by and before I knew it, we were done and packing up for the next leg of the trip. 

That particular show had all four of the women from The Craft present and it was nice to see so much love from fans of the film. I never had a clue how big that movie was. For me it was a job. With Film you can’t ever really have any idea of how successful it is when you’re in it, I suppose for the very fact that you are In It. It’s hard to explain but there it is. With music or theatre you get a sense of how the audience feels through applause, audience reaction but with film you do your job then you go home. That’s it. I learned early on not to read reviews. So all these years later finding out that it was this huge cult hit for a whole generation of people was a revelation. The ladies all look so beautiful still. It was a good time all around. 

So on the Sunday evening after the show we packed up and started to head to our next destination, Cincinnati Ohio.

Part 3 coming soon:) Fx

RV Life - Spring Road Trip: Part 1 

Hello all

Im finally back in California after a very long crazy but wonderful journey across the states. My body has landed but my soul still feels like it’s out there traveling around. So now I begin the process of getting everyone’s lovely treats sent out. Please accept my heartfelt thanks for the patience you’ve all shown me. 

As promised here is a blog about the trip we took.

I realized after meeting so many people who couldn’t travel who expressed their gratitude for sharing photos of the trips and stories from the road that it would be good to give a bit more detail. I realize how lucky I am to have my mobility and to be able to see these places. So this is for you guys who asked me to write about my wacky RV trip.

The first con was in New Jersey and I had planned to give myself a week to get there however I ended up leaving a couple days late because I had to refill Gingey’s medicines unexpectedly. He had only just completed a series of radiation treatments for the cancer on his leg and was really fighting to get healthy again. The dr. Advised against taking him with me but I know my Gbear. He would not be ok being left behind in someone else’s care or god forbid boarded.

So with my little red furred soldier in tow we headed out onto the road for the long journey across the states. Some people find it odd that I loathe flying but it’s pretty self explanatory if you’ve ever flown commercial why its repellant. The crowds, the obnoxious and at times rude TSA experiences and if you’re me the endless questioning from strangers never mind the whole fear of crashing from 35 thousand feet in the air. I grew up flying on planes all over the world for work, for publicity etc so I don’t enjoy it. Being on the road you can have amazing experiences, see things you never even thought possible, meet amazing people, see nature in its purest raw form and you remember the trips. I rarely remember airplane trips but that’s just me. 

When you live in or near a huge city it’s always best to leave at night to avoid heinous traffic. We’ll usually drive as long as possible the first few days which gets us into AZ. I’m not sure why but I love the desert scenery, the mesas and rock formations. There’s a sense of ancient history looking into the face of a mountain where you can see different levels of earth that have been worn away by time, wind, water and weather. The color of the sky changes to a deeper blue and the horizon stretches out giving you an altered sense of its dimensions. It calms me.

Going east in the I40 you pass Lake Havasu which is a destination for boating enthusiasts and as soon as you cross the state line the surroundings change. I’ve never driven this freeway at this time of year but it was so much prettier than fall as there are purple chia, blue wild lupin and Orange wild poppies growing in thick lines along side the highway and the dunes this year were carpeted in electric yellow flowers. The desert completely transforms itself and the ground that’s usually flat dusty brown becomes absolutely electric with color.There were récord rains and snow this past winter so I got to see what is called a “ Super Bloom”. Apparently it hasn’t happened in 18 years. I felt very lucky to be privy to this particular show. 

When I was younger I was a city girl. I didn’t get why my Mum and other women were so into their gardens and growing things but I think when you’re in your early 20’s you’re almost myopic about succeeding in your chosen field. The more you learn the more you realize that the things you thought were so important really aren’t nearly as important as you believed them to be. Work is important of course but it’s not everything. If your work is the only thing in your life, it can get very empty and very lonely. It was for me anyway,It doesn’t love you back like a lover or a garden or an animal or Art does. It’s rewards are different. 

There are a few landmarks I always like to see as I go along, there’s a crazy giant geodesic dome that looks like a giant golf ball. I was told it used to be a nightclub in the 70’s.... “giant golf ball nightclub” not something you see every day. You start seeing Route 66 painted on everything from signs, abandoned buildings, water towers, old RV’s that have seen better days. For those of you who don’t know this, Route 66 is the original cross country road that runs alongside the i40Highway . I haven’t yet done the trip on the 66 but maybe I will some day.

There’s something about being out on the road hours from any town or even gas station, just you, the road and the land. The frantic non stop mental babble that my Gemini brain constantly tormenta me with shuts up and watches through the windows. I find it very inspiring. It’s not easy to find that inner quiet that the road provides so effortlessly. I like to try to catch photos of the weird billboards I see and the many odd handmade dinosaur sculptures that pop up all along the way in the southwestern states. We’re usually going about 75 mph (sometimes faster if I’m running late) so it’s tricky as they fly by so fast.

We hit the conocí forest headed towards flagstaff and noticed this time that there were digital signs over the highway that read “Please don’t stop on the side of the highway to play in the snow”! I guess some people actually do that? They must or there would be no need for the big digital signs!! “ Hey Larry lets go make snowballs!-KASQUISH!!!! As a huge semi eats their Subaru Outback.

There was snow in the ground up there and I check into the weather and as luck would have it a freak cold front from Alaska had decided to drop right into our path. I was a bit worried about the water system in the RV freezing up and potentially cracking costing us loads and negating our having a bathroom or running water for the foreseeable future of the trip. We kept right on going though. At around 1;30 am we pulled into a rest stop near Santa Rosa in a mountain pass and it was the eeriest most beautiful sight. It looks as if the rain had frozen sideways on the branches of the trees. It was deadly quiet, 14 below zero and very much like driving through Narnia from the Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe book. A van, a couple cars and a few big rigs had parked to sleep up there which surprised me and made me very grateful for the heater we had blasting away in the RV. In an RV you can turn off the engine and use the built in heater at night. Keeps you snug as bugs in rugs.

Figured if we kept going it wouldn’t be quite so freezing as we were still in the mountains. 

As you cross into New Mexico you pass one of my favorite spots, it’s called Window Rock named for the naturally formed holes in the massive rock faces that run alongside the highway. At one point there were little visitor shops in the shape of teePee’s and old west style shacks but they’re closed nowadays. Someone put plastic deer, an eagle, a bear and a few other assorted plastic animals up high on the rocks. They’re paint has faded and chipped away over the years but they’re still a friendly reminder of an era when road trips were still “the thing to do”. Sometimes you’ll see freight trains go by that are so long it seems like they go for miles. I always wonder what the stories are of the people who have graffitied on them. The idea of your tag or your name traveling to all the places you hope to one day see.... or maybe they are seeing them? I’ll never know. Train hopping is fun but I wouldn’t recommend it as it can tear you to pieces if you don’t know how to do it and which cars you can jump onto never mind that it’s illegal.

Another story for another time.

I wanted to stop in at Gallup NM but we didn’t have time. We had to eat serious road to make it all the way to NJ.

New Mexico is so truly beautiful to drive through. The soil, the mountains, the rocks are every shade of red, pink orange violet and purple. It’s the only place I’ve ever seen that has purple soil. I fell in love with it while we were filming Gas Food and Lodging in a town called Deming. I love Santa Fé New Mexico especially.

If you have never been there I recommend you go at least once. It is a magical, beautiful, cultured and very interesting place. I’m sure there are many YouTube shows that could give you some eye candy and give you an idea of what I’m talking about.

Part 2 coming soon:) 

F x

 

Songs and blogs and skunks oh my. 

Happy Labor Day weekend folks! 

Hope you are all enjoying the holiday in whatever form you see fit. 
It’s hot hot hot in Cali but I’m not complaining because at least it isn’t in the 100’s. 
So in light of my pre order 3 song EP campaign I thought I’d say an extra big thank you to everyone who has decided to support the music, those that are planning on it and those who are helping me spread the word! THANK YOU! MUCHAS GRACIAS! MERCI BEAUCOUP!!! NAIS TUKE!! 
If you haven’t shared the link for the campaign PLEASE DO!! I need ALL of your help to get it out there as this is about at independent as an Artist can get! Lol! That really is the big difference of being in a label as they have the ability to get your music heard far and wide. We’re doing this with People Power though and we are a force to be reckoned with are we not!? So please share the hell out of it for me and Thank you for All you’ve done already!!! 
The song I posted a snippet of White Lillies was written maybe 8 years ago. I’m a huge fan of Appalachian and traditional folk music, the starker and more haunting the better. My father has so many of these ancient songs in his brain and taught me several as a teen and I was hooked. There’s something about the way they are sung and played that just hits your heart like a beautiful painful dagger. I’m hoping to be able to record some of them with him. He said he was up for it So universe willing I’ll be able to share that with you guys in the near future ( fingers crossed )! 


This song basically wrote itself. I don’t have a good story about how I was trying to express a certain something rather this time it just came. I sat down to play my guitar and the chord progression formed then the words just came to me like I was listening to a voice singing them. Really kind of a mysterious thing when I think about it. The lyrics speak of a lover Mourning the loss of the beloved, eternally searching for them through eternity, calling out to them through song like a Siren to try and find them again, to be reunited. Also a warning that should the song be heard by a strangers ears the curse that befell the beloved could land on them as well. 


Music is such a mysterious thing. I truly do believe that sometimes if you’re lucky it does just arrive, or comes through you from another place entirely. Perhaps it lives in the collective unconscious already and we just tap into it from time to time. When you listen to Mozart or Bach it seems like they must have been tapped in to some other sphere of consciousness to be able to write such incredible music and so prolifically. Of course having training in classical music and theory is a huge part of it for geniuses like them but there is something otherworldly in their music for sure. 


I’ll often hear music or songs in my head both waking and while dreaming and wonder if they already exist or if I created them myself. It doesn’t really matter I suppose but I do wonder. I had recorded it a while back on my own playing a bass 6 and it sounded good but something always felt like it was missing. Mel Sanson my very talented singer/songwriter friend came in and we did it as a duet and finally FINALLY it sounded the way it had in my head! Joy! That’s one thing about songwriting, you know the difference intrinsically between when it’s not quite there and when it’s right. This felt beyond right and it was like breathing a huge sigh of relief that it was finally done. I’m really thrilled that you guys are liking it so far. I didn’t know if the style was too different for people. You never know until you share it though right? Thank you for all the positive feedback and all the love you’ve given me and my music. 


I’m sitting outside writing this on my phone and this huge green iridescent beetle just flew over and landed on my knee, fluttered his wings, wiggled his rump then flew off again so obviously he says HI! To all of you too:) 


Oh yes- apologies for the quirks in the store, should be fixed now but sorry about that AND we now have 3XL sizes for you should you be so inclined :) 


I Love You 
I Hug you 
And I hope you all had a great weekend 
XOXO 
F

ALM Debut EP - RAW LIVE LO-FI - Pre order now!  

So, at long last I’m gonna be sharing new music with you! Those of you who have been with me on Social Media for a while now will know that I write sing and play music and have since I was toodling around as a kid. My Music/Art Collaborative project Armed Love Militia has produced a very unique EP of songs that are recorded Live, Raw, one take, Lo-Fi & uncut sounding exactly as they do in the room. I am really proud of them.

We live in a time where almost every piece of music we hear has been digitally adjusted, pieced and patched, auto tuned and altered to be beyond perfect. Nothing wrong with it either but the performances I love best are almost always the live ones. I love hearing the breaths of the artist and the intimacy that live recordings have. I was always the one looking for cool bootlegs and hard to find stuff of my favorite artists. It’s in that style that these songs were recorded.

A couple years back I put up a song called dream45 which I recorded straight onto my phone. I know that’s probably a bit of a no no in professional terms but I felt it was needed at the time. I got a pretty amazing response to it so it encouraged me to do an EP of completely stripped down songs. Gah! I’m dying to share them with you! Man o man! Also, I want to let you know that it is solely because of your interest and support of my music that I’m able to make this happen. You guys have shown me such amazing encouragement and honestly doing this makes me happier than I can even explain. I had no idea what people would think of what I write. I write in many different styles and always had it in my head that there had to be a band. But with these types of song they are actually far better suited as pure and bare as when written.

My favorite track is White Lillie’s which is a song I wrote and sing as a duet with my dear friend Mel Sanson who is a great singer songwriter.  If you go over to my YouTube channel you can hear a teaser of it. It’s funny this mix of elation and nervous excitement. Sharing music you’ve written from the heart it is kind of like taking off all your clothes, or taking off your skin & showing all of your insides. Odd metaphor I know but it is that personal. That said it is also Art so you have to push your fears aside and give it openly and freely come what may. The EP, RAW LIVE LO-FI (photography by Valentina Socci) is available on CD and Cassette! We’ve made some truly wickedly cool Tees! Hearts & Daggers Tee with Art Sigil on the back, Dream 45 & Tape Cassette T (designed by Richard Pashley) and a seriously badass Hearts & Daggers Hoodie with RAW LIVE LO-FI on the back plus other fun stuff to go along with the music that I think / hope you guys will dig. I want to wear it all so hopefully you will too! Lol! 

PRE ORDER HERE! 

The first 100 folks who order will get a very cool little surprise from yours truly as well ;) 


Thank you to those of you who’ve been sharing your music and also thank you for your comments, your encouragement, your support and your Love. 
It still blows my mind that I’m even able to do this! 10 years ago it wouldn’t have been possible like this so again

Thank You guys XOXO!

RVs, White Lillies & Nancy Tees!  

Hello and Bonjour, 


2018 is here, a new year begins and with it great promise and all of our combined hopes that it will be a better year than 2017. I hope that it is treating you all well so far? For those of you who follow me on Social Media, you know that last year I was blessed with being able to travel all around the US in a home on wheels aka an RV. I had the most amazing time and I promised to write about my adventures and I will hold to that promise. It has been about a month and a half since I returned that Beast of an RV and oh do I miss that Beast!!! The Gbear is very happy to have his yard back and be with his many furry friends. I don’t think he liked the traveling as much as I did however I was very impressed with his travel cat abilities. He became a protector and would stay up all night looking out the windows and meowing loudly if he felt anything to be threatening. I’ve never in all my days had a protector cat. He’s pretty unique though in many ways. 


Towards the end of last year, a very dear friend of mine and great singer/songwriter Mel Sanson came out to visit and while hanging out, found that we sing very well together. I had written a dark folk song called White Lillies and she figured out a really lovely harmony to it. We set up some microphones at the place downtown she was staying and we recorded the song together right there and then. No fancy studio or expensive gear just two friends singing a song. 
I played an acoustic guitar and it came out sounding so beautiful that I’ve decided to share it with you. There is truly something to be said about playing and singing a song live, no tricks, no fancy effects or digital splicing. Just playing the song in it’s barest form in one single take. I love the intimacy of hearing an Artists breath, the squeaking of the strings and the humanity in the performance. These days Music is often very processed and I think that our ears have become accustomed to hearing music that way. When a track is raw though sometimes it can be far more powerful. It depends on the song, the performer, the day it was recorded etc. I am in the process of creating the cover art for it and am going to have it mastered. I seriously can’t wait to share it with you! It’s been so cool, as I record and release music lots of musicians have shared their music with me via the web. I love discovering new music, new artists and their work so thank you if you were one of those people. 


On another note, ( no pun intended), In response to many emailed requests I am going to be making a new limited edition Tee Shirt for those of you who are die hard Nancy from The Craft fans. I will be using, with permission, the beautiful artwork of the Artist Robert Heckman who made a lovely oil painting of Nancy. He is such a gifted artist. 
Last year I was invited to attend some movie conventions and it was truly humbling to learn how much love folks have for that character and that film. Many people asked me if I would make some Nancy shirts so I am obliging. I always order the very best and softest Tee shirts I can find. I love it when they’re soft. The tee shirts will be available for a limited time only and you will have the option of ordering them signed by yours truly if you so wish. 


I will write more soon and until then, Happy 2018 and I hope you all enjoy the upcoming Full Blue Moon/Blood Moon! I am so excited, I hope the skies will be clear enough for me to see it. 


Much Love to you my friends. 
Xxxxxxooooo 
F

Summer, Full Moons, Baby Birds and Raccoons!  

Hello All, 

Well...... summer is definitely inarguably here. I sit in the garden in what has now cooled to 94 degree heat (nothing compared to Vegas or the desert) but still pretty darned hot. All the critters have their babies out learning to fly, dig, climb and grow. One thing about California where I always end up coming back to is that nature abounds and grows so plentiful that there is almost nothing that cannot grow here. I imagine polar bears wouldn't be too impressed but then again they're polar bears. 
Two new sets of kits from the Raccoon tribes have arrived as well as baby squirrels, baby skunkletts and new baby hummingbirds, baby Mantids, baby California slender Salamanders, many different butterflies and dragonflies to name a few! 
I am lucky that I am able finally to slow down long enough to notice the abundance of beauty around me. Learning how to grow things has been a great experience. I used to have a black thumb when it came to anything apart from plants that basically took care of themselves. Through my studies of Herbs and Orchids I've had to learn to curb my over/under watering tendencies. I had to learn to slow down, to be patient and to observe the plants to  know when to give them what they need. To some I know the idea of this is beyond boring but it's very rewarding to see a small amount of effort and interest turn into an entire garden filled with life. The plants are what has attracted all the wildlife I'm always going on about. If you create a beautiful safe space for the critters and keep some clean water out for them ( they need this more than you know) they will come to you. They sense it. I've always been a cat rescue person, blessed in that way but to also get to know all this wildlife has been incredible. Did you know that Raccoons use tools?! Science is under the impression that only Ravens and apes use tools but Raccoons do too! They're so clever is mind boggling. They get along well with the skunks although the skunks are definitely the bosses. 
I could go on and on about those guys... 
 On another note I've been writing some new songs that I'm actually quite pleased with and hopefully will be able to record. Musicians though god love them/ I should say "Us " are notoriously hard to pin down as most are ever touring or recording their own stuff so things haven't happened as fast as I'd like them to however one way or another I believe it will happen. Thank you so much to every person who took the time to subscribe to my YouTube page and write in about the music. It means so much to me, it really does. To know that what I write resonates with people is what it's all about. That's what music is for! 
I've been working on my Art as well. Most recently I realized that I lean far too heavily towards obsessive perfectionism to the point that It often blocks me off. I destroy 99.999 percent of what I make. As an experiment I decided to take the control away completely by putting down the calligraphy pens and brushes and instead using things that I cannot control like sticks, pine needles, the edges of leaves. It's very much like being a child again in terms of freeing you up from those constraints of hyper focus on controlled lines. 
I started drawing sketch ideas this way with India Ink , some Abstract works and some of the idea of Angels and saints. There are so many different interpretations of what those beings could look like. Early Judaic descriptions are fiery and terrifyingly severe multi winged flame eyed beings of light. I've only really just begun to study saints but I like the idea. People who were touched by grace or madness or the divine. These days they'd probably be categorized as either Artists or mad people or maybe both. 
I mean as Artists that is what we strive towards, to essentially be a conduit to the powers that be, the muse, the inspiration, so it can come through us. 
It isn't often that it happens but when it does the feeling is so wonderful. 
A film I worked on called "Battle Scars" opens this week in theatres and video on demand so that's exciting. The production has been tweeting on my page so for more info on that you can follow they're links. Some of you who haven't been following me on twitter for long have asked if I've quit acting. The answer to that is a resounding NO! However, I am very selective these days insofar as what I choose to put my time and energy into. It has to be a project I believe in. Life is too short to waste time on bad Art. I've made around 73 films or some number around there and I hope to be able to continue to act until I'm an old lady. That's partly why I stepped away from doing a ton of press when I did. They love to misrepresent actors, when it comes to me especially. If you are too omnipresent you can wear your self out and others. It's also a very good thing to be able to explore other art forms. 
It has made me a much happier person and I am so grateful that I can spend time doing the things I also love like Art and Music. I want to thank every person who has helped to support these endeavors of mine through the Tshirts, photos and Art sales. I <3 you very much for this. You are awesomeness incarnate. 
Huge Kisses and hugs to every single one of you, you know who you are;). 
For those of you who have read the previous blogs you'll know that I have been trying to help my Mother recover from a serious back injury. It turns out she has acute osteoporosis as well so her recovery is taking a long and arduous time. She is unable to teach so we came up with the idea of making her an Etsy store. She has been a collector of amazing beautiful treasures all of her adventurous and well travelled life and had hoped to one day have a store of her own. Being though that she cannot run a physical shop and We live in different countries we came up with the Etsy Idea. I am extremely new to this whole thing and luckily we have had some friendly help getting it up and running. I didn't want her to be directly accessible to trolls either ( who needs that right?) so questions are answered by a third party. 
She has some really pretty amazing stuff, things I certainly never knew she had, very cool indeed. A veritable treasure trove :) 
If you would like to go have a look you can find the store at LePetiteEscargot.etsy.com 
There is another store by that name in the US but no items listed so if you end up there then you'll know it's not the right spot. 
I think Etsy is cool as it gives individuals the ability to get their goods out there whether it's handmade items or antiques or vintage clothes. One thing that is a bit of a mystery is how to get the store seen and I'm told getting the store liked, shared and favorited is essential to it's success so if you do go for a look see please remember to favorite her shop and share it if you would! Many thanks from all of us in advance for your kindness:) 
It is A full moon tonight! Clear skies here so I'm hoping to have a great view of La Luna in all her glowing beauty. 
There is much more to tell but this blog is getting pretty long at this point and I'm in the garden being roasted alive & the battery is going on this machine so I will bid you a fond adieu for now my friends. 
Happy Full Moon!!!!! 
Muah! 
XXOO 

F

Ps. My Official Instagram is https://www.instagram.com/fairuza/

Hello all!:) 

Well, Spring has definitely arrived in all of her splendor in California. We have had the craziest rains, more rain than there's been in many years. The reservoirs are once again full and nature is just exploding in all her glory everywhere you look. I am especially happy to see that some of the wild flowers that were endangered are back namely wild blue lupines. I'm seeing them all over, on sides of freeways,growing in empty lots, in people's gardens and even some in my own garden. I found a hummingbirds nest that had been discarded or perhaps dislodged by the winds. It is the tiniest most exquisite example of the brilliance of these tiny marvels. Imagine having to build and weave your home with your mouth and your feet alone?! Pretty amazing engineering. They wove tiny thistle down into tiny balls then wove them together and coated the outside in tiny pieces of wood, bark and grass. It is a tiny work of art that I will always treasure. 

I am also very happy to have two new Tee shirts that we are offering on my site that I hope you will like as much as I  enjoy designing them. As you know I am an Artist and these Tee shirts help to support my endeavors in Art and Music. I am so grateful to all of you who have shown interest and support to me. It has given me a lot of confidence and pride to see that you like my artwork and music for what it is, not just because I am also an actor. I have come to a very clear realization. I want to put my focus, my energy into creating Art that I love, that I believe in and that I truly enjoy making. With your support I am hoping to be moving forward on some of the goals I have had for years but that I had to put aside. After last year I think I had to take some time to heal, to regroup after so many personal losses. I know this was the case for many of us. These kinds of life changes really affect one deeply and in order for art to come through you, you have to allow time to process. I feel finally like I am coming through it, the doors are beginning to open again as I have been writing new music, drawing and designing new work for both sculptural and painted /mixed media work. 

The other day a friend on twitter mentioned that he had been in a creative rut. 

We all find ourselves in these ruts from time to time. The biggest lesson I've been learning lately is that when you find yourself unable or unsure as to how to move forward, a good way to help get you through it is to just start doing, start experimenting without any expectations. It's not something that I do easily as I am by nature a perfectionist and very harsh judge of my own work. If you work/play solely with the intent of exploring, you open yourself up, give yourself room to just explore and have fun. Remember fun? Yeah exactly. I love that saying " Dance like no one's watching". It's that feeling applied to whatever form of creativity you choose. It's been working well for me. 

Normally autumn is my favorite time of year but this spring has been so beautiful it might just take 1st place. I know in many places winter has decided to extend itself way beyond the beyond dumping snow and crazy weather on tons of folks. Hopefully that is now out of the way for those of you reading this who've been experiencing that! I hope that wherever you are spring is finally arriving for you too. 

Ok, I guess I will sign off for now as this wee note got rather longer than intended! 

Many thanks again for your love, your support, your friendship, and your ideas and feedback. You guys are the BEST! 

Much Love 

F

Armed Love Militia Spring Merchandise Pre Order 

By popular demand, I’m super excited to introduce to you Our Lady Of Armed Love limited Edition T shirts are now available for purchase! Also available are limited edition "It Gets Different" Lolo Tee shirts as well as patches, pins badges and stickers! As part of the ongoing ALM project, we are now offering some truly awesome goodies! 
All designed by yours truly! :D As always I package up and post out everything for you guys myself. 
This is a Pre Order, available from now until 15th May. 
As a big thank you to the first 50 orders, I will include a special surprise, that I think you’re going to love ;) 
Thank you all for your continued support with my ALM venture…. It really means the world. I’m working on some new music, which I hope to share with you guys soon! 
All my love, F xxx

Pre order here